Sleep
by The Dude Slayer
Summary: Misato, Asuka, and Shinji's thoughts as they prepare for bed. The ends justify the means.


Sleep  
The Dude Slayer  
  
  
  
  
I walk down the empty halls of my apartment. It used to be our   
apartment, many years ago. So much has changed since then, so many of   
us have changed since then. The war was so long ago, but it still   
seems like it was only yesterday.  
I lean against the doorway leading into her old room. It hasn't   
changed it years. After the failed Third Impact, Gendo attempted,   
Asuka had moved out and went back to Germany. That was a little over   
fifteen years ago.  
My little Shin-chan went off to college a few years after that.   
Tokyo 2 University accepted him for their music program. Right now   
he's probably in a great concert hall performing some greatly composed   
song that he fell in love with while he lived under this roof.  
I miss them. More than I'll ever say, I wish they would come and   
visit me soon. I wonder if they ever thought of getting together.   
They deserve one another.  
  
  
  
  
-----------------------  
  
  
I place my cello back in its case and lean it against the wall.   
With a gentle yawn I look at the clock across the room, it reads just   
after 2 am. I hope I didn't wake anyone. Haruna always loves to hear   
me play, but I know I keep her up late at times.  
I collect my papers and yawn once more. I blink back the sleep   
for a moment as I place my music away in the appropriate folder. I   
don't know what it is about "Kanon d dur" but that song seems to speak   
volumes to me. What's this?  
A picture fell out of my folders. I gasp as I see the faces on   
it. It's my old family. Ayanami, Misato-san, Toji, Kensuke, the class   
rep, and...her. Asuka. I haven't thought about Asuka in almost ten   
years. Not since I went to college and met Haruna.  
But there she is. Leaning up against me, taunting me, attempting   
to pull me from my shell. But she never could. There are times when I   
wish she had.  
  
"Shinji?"  
  
I turn around to see my wife Ikari Haruna. Her long brunette   
hair is braided down her back; her light brown eyes are sparkling in   
the moonlight. I smile at her, a gentle and loving smile I reserve   
only for her. "I'll be to bed in a few minutes Haruna-chan."  
Haruna nods and begins to retreat to our room, but she stops and   
looks at me. "Shin-chan?"  
"Hai?"  
"What's that in your hand?"  
I look down at he photograph and repress a deep sigh. Haruna   
knows about my involvement with the Angel War and NERV. She knows   
about the others. The only thing she doesn't know is how I felt about   
Asuka all those years ago. Things are different now, Haruna is my life   
now. I smile at my loving wife.  
"Nothing. Just a memory that has yet to fade." I drop the   
photograph and allow it to float to the table with my music. "Come   
love, let us retire." I wrap my arm around Haruna's thin waist and   
walk with her down the hall.  
  
  
  
-----------------------------------  
  
  
  
I look into the room where my son sleeps. It's been four years   
since he was born, and almost five since his father ran out on me.   
Bastard. He never could handle pressure.  
Shinji rolls over in his sleep and mumbles something I can't   
hear. I smile as I watch my son; he acts so much like his namesake.  
I miss my Shin-chan. I don't know why I never told him how I felt.   
I've had almost sixteen years to do so, so why don't I?  
Then I remember. The invitation. Its still sitting in my   
bedside table as it has since the day I received it seven years ago.   
He got married. I'm happy for him. I never went to the wedding. I   
should have, but I couldn't stand to see Shinji that happy with another   
woman.  
Plus I didn't want to deal with Misato. God knows she probably   
wants to kill me. Who can blame her? I don't.  
  
Shinji's kicking his feet quickly in his sleep, he looks like   
he's running from something. I wonder what he's dreaming about? Is he   
dreaming about his mathematics, or maybe worlds too far for the eye to   
see? Are you dreaming about Jesus, or Momma, or maybe about all the   
people you'll never meet.  
Are your dreams in German or Japanese my son, or maybe some   
language only you know. Or are they as silent as my entry plug was   
just before the end of the war? Are you even cognizant?   
I chuckle to myself at that thought. Hell, maybe you're wise   
beyond your four years and you already know that what they teach you at   
school is wrong, and your Momma had a part in the big war.  
  
Shinji's rolled over again. I can see his eyes flutter open as   
he looks for something. He finds his purple and green plush Unit 01   
on the other side of his bed. Shinji smiled as he hugs his plush Angel   
killer, never knowing what the real version could do.  
I watch as Shinji looks at me and smiles. "Momma!"  
I carefully walk into his room. "Shhh, my little Shinji-chan.   
What are you doing awake? You've got school tomorrow." I lean over my   
young son and gently tuck him back under his covers.  
"Momma, I had a dream."  
I tilt my head to the side gently. "Oh?"  
Shinji nods. "Yeah! I saw my Eva come to life. He was steppin'   
on things. I told him to stop..."  
I place a finger on Shinji's lips and quite him. "Shh. Tell me   
in the morning. You need to sleep now." I kiss Shinji's forehead and   
smile at him before walking out of the room.  
  
  
  
---------------------------------  
  
  
  
I slide the door open to Shinji's room and sigh. It's been empty   
for years, ever since he moved to Tokyo 2. I blink back a tear. I   
miss them so much. This must be how a mother feels when her children   
move out and begin their own lives.  
I look at the phone and something comes over me. How many years   
has it been since my own mother and I spoke? Too many that's for sure.   
Maybe I should, but it's late.  
I sigh and move to my own bedroom. Since when did I being   
thinking of them as my own children and not as my roommates? Suddenly   
I remember something so trivial that it's almost funny.  
  
Shinji and Asuka are sitting on one side of the table, I'm   
on the opposite side of them. Asuka was rambling on about the new   
fashions at the mall. Shinji is going over music in his head, I can   
see him playing the notes with his chopsticks and noodles. It's sort   
of funny to see, but he seems so mature doing it.  
I take a sip of my beer and it strikes me. These are my   
children. I may not have given birth to them, but they're my children.   
They're not my duty and job, but their my family and my responsibility.   
I smile and nod to Asuka as she continues to ramble on about shopping.   
My children. I like how that sounds.  
  
  
I shake the memory away along with the tear that came with it. I   
lay down on my futon and curl up into a ball. I miss my children. I   
miss my family. I miss... What's that sound.  
My eyes dart around the room before I notice the phone ringing.   
Who would call this late at night? "Moshi-Moshi?"  
  
"I don't know if you've forgotten me, or if you've moved on with   
your life. All I do know is that I love you and I always have. I'm   
standing outside your door at this moment. If you cared anything for   
me, now or ever, then open the door. You have one hour. Good bye   
Misato-chan." The voice hung up.  
  
I know that voice. Without care for whom might see me I run to   
the front door of my apartment and throw it open. There's no one   
there. Quickly I rush down the stairs and hurry to my building's front   
door. I don't care what the neighbors say, they all think I'm crazy   
anyway.  
  
I round the corner from the stairs to the door and I can see him.   
He's leaning against the wall, that damn smug look on his face. He   
knew I'd come running. I stop and catch my breath. Eleven floors is a   
long run.  
  
Without even trying he reaches out and opens the door. That damn   
smirk of his is plastered on that gorgeous face. I want to slap him   
silly. Instead I run over to him and fall into his arms.  
I feel protected here. I feel happy like this. I need this more   
than he knows. Silently I look up and see his eyes looking into mine.   
We share a moment as we both understand what the other is saying.   
Gently his lips move down and touch mine.  
It wasn't a momentous kiss, it wasn't earth shattering, but it   
was special. It was our first kiss in fifteen years. Fifteen years   
without each other, without love, only pain and loneliness. Fifteen   
long years.  
We break the kiss and without another word I lead him up to my   
apartment. He's never leaving me again, this time I'll make sure of   
it.  
  
  
  
  
-------------------------  
  
  
  
Haruna's still asleep. I smile as I watch my wife sleep. I   
remember when I fell in love with Haruna. It was the first time I   
watched her sleep. She was sleeping on the couch in my college   
dormitory where we'd been studying the night before.  
I brush a lock of silky hair from her beautiful face and smile.   
Gently I lean over and kiss her forehead. She mumbles something in her   
sleep that sounds like my name. My smile widens as she grips my waist   
and nuzzles my chest.  
Happily I return her hug. Its still dark out and I have a few   
hours before I need to be at the concert hall. I lay back down and   
return to a blissful slumber with my loving wife.  
  
  
  
--------------------------------  
  
  
  
I walk down the empty and silent hallway. Shinji went back to   
sleep, thank goodness. I look at the phone and wonder what Shinji   
would say if I called him. No, that wouldn't be fair. He has a new   
life now. One I won't ruin for him.  
I silently head back to my bedroom. I hope I don't wake   
Muriyaki. She's been irritable recently. I still find it funny when I   
think about it. I never saw myself with a woman for a lover, but when   
Kaji died, after I left Japan, and that asshole left Shinji and I   
Muriyaki was the only one able to comfort me.  
She was there for me whenever I needed someone. Then one day it   
seemed like a natural action we shared each other's bed. It wasn't too   
much later that she moved in here with me and Shinji. Still I miss my   
Invincible Shinji at times.  
  
I climb into bed and wrap my arms around Muriyaki. She says   
nothing, only pressing closer to me. I think she's gotten used to   
these urges I get to check on Shinji. I know she loves him like her   
own son, but sometimes I wish he was his namesake's child.  
"Asuka?"  
I open my eyes and see Maki's bright green eyes staring back at   
my sapphire blue ones. "Yes?"  
She yawns and smiles at me. "Checking on him again?"  
I nod. She knew I was.  
"He's fine isn't he?" I nod again. "Good, then come over here   
and kiss me goodnight."  
I may be a domineering, controlling, hard-assed bitch, but I can   
still take an order when I want. I lean over and kiss my lover   
goodnight. "Good night." Muriyaki kissed me back and soon we were   
asleep in each other's arms.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
  
  
  
The morning sunshine burns brightly on my tired face for a moment   
before I wake up. Slowly my eyes begin to register the bleak, familiar   
walls of my bedroom.  
A tired heavy weight presses down heavily on my chest. I look   
down and am greeted with a familiar and heartwarming sight. Misato had   
fallen asleep against my chest, again. We've been going at it like sex   
crazed nymphomaniacs for the past week and it seems its finally taken   
its toll on both of us.  
Lazily I wrap an arm around Misato as I think back to the dream I   
just had. An older, more beautiful Misato walking around an empty,   
unfamiliar apartment thinking of two children that she thinks of as   
hers. I shake the thoughts from my mind as I think of which classes   
I'm going to miss this afternoon as I run a hand across my stubble   
covered, forever unshaven chin.  
Misato groans in her sleep causing me to smile. "Forget class,   
I'm staying here today," I whisper to no one.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
  
I look at my husband as he sleeps peacefully next to me. Gendo   
Ikari, it seems that our little baby is going to grow up into a well-  
rounded young man. Beautiful wife, career he loves, and friends that   
care for him.  
I pat my slightly protruding stomach. Young Shinji, I hope you   
enjoy the life I saw you living in my dream. Asuka and Haruna, whoever   
these girls are; I hope that they both treat you well.  
You're our future Shinji, I just hope yours is better than ours   
turned out to be.  
  
  
  
  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
  
  
  
I scream out as loud as my lungs will allow. I scream for what   
seems like hours, until a strong reassuring hand falls onto my   
shoulder. Quickly I turn and grab onto my lover's chest. "I'm not   
gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay."  
I keep repeating the words over and over in my mind and out loud.  
"Shh. It's alright Asuka-chan. I'm here." Shinji's strong   
voice surprises me. I have to remember that he's not the weak little   
boy he was when we met.  
I look up into his deep blue eyes as he smiles reassuringly at   
me. "I'm sorry Shin-chan. It was...a nightmare."  
Shinji smiles at me again. "I bet it was. I haven't heard you   
scream like that since you came out of your coma ten years ago."   
Shinji pulls me closer and I hold tight to him. He gently rubs my hair   
as he lowers me back onto the bed. "C'mon. Let's get some sleep. We   
both have to work in the morning."  
I smile weakly. Good old reliable Shinji, always thinking of how   
to keep busy. "You're right, I'm sorry Shin-chan."  
Shinji kisses my forehead gently as he holds me tighter. "It's   
alright. If I ever thought you were gay I'd invite Mana over. She's  
always had a thing for both of us."  
"BAKA HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
End  
  
  
  
  
  
*The Dude Slayer walks onstage. His obsidian duster flaps in the   
non-existent breeze. Silently he walks upto the podium and begins   
sorting a few note cards*  
  
*Vampboy walks onstage. His black duster lies flat against his   
shoulders and back. He takes his place at The Dude Slayer's right side   
he says nothing*  
  
*Firefingers walks onstage. Her fiery aura is gone. Her red   
leather jacket is resting comfortably on her back and shoulders. She   
takes her place at The Dude Slayer's left side*  
  
*The Dude Slayer coughs and gains the audience's attention*  
  
TDS: Good afternoon all. I am sure you're all wondering where   
the chibis are. Well they are off on a nice little vacation. They   
will all return in the Barstool Sessions II.  
  
  
*at that moment in a UPS office in Siberia*  
*a large box with many different stamps, stickers, and names are   
written on it sits in the room, ever few minutes it moves*  
~ Translated from Russian.  
  
FedEx man1: ~ What's this?  
FedEx man2: ~ Unsure. It's from somewhere in America though.  
FedEx man1: ~ America? Let's open it.  
  
Box: Let us out! Let us out! God dammit, Dude Slayer. We'll   
kill you!  
  
*FedEx men run off screaming*  
  
  
*The Dude Slayer looks to Firefingers*  
TDS: Did you hear something?  
FF: Nope.  
TDS: *shrugs* Whatever then. *looks back to crowd* Now I must   
say to you all, cuz I know someone's gonna want my head soon for this.  
No, I do NOT think Asuka is gay. I am a true Asuka-Shinji fan. Asuka   
Forever!!!!!  
But I needed a good scene for Asuka to complement Shinji and   
Misato having their own lovers. I didn't want Asuka to be alone. That   
would make me sad. :(  
  
VB: Crybaby.  
TDS: *slaps VB up the back of his head* Baka! Now the reason I   
chose to give Asuka a female lover is contrast. The girl had a fucked   
up childhood, stapled with the Angel War, add in that no one ever   
showed her any affection, and a total mental breakdown and you have a   
woman with some SERIOUS problems.  
It was also a bit of comic relief from an otherwise lame story.  
VB: I say you're still having...  
  
*Firefingers and The Dude Slayer slap Vampboy*  
Both: SHUT UP!!  
*Vampboy falls to the floor moaning*  
TDS: I know it looks like I hate Vampboy. I really do put him   
through some shit in these notes, but really. The guy's my best   
friend. He knows it's all for the comedy.  
VB: *groan*  
TDS: Sorry bro.  
VB: ugh...no...problem...  
TDS: Uh...anyway. Where was I? Oh yeah. This story was a   
stupid little thing that I wrote after work. Not sure what song it was   
that inspired me to write it. Oh well.  
FF: Disclaimers!!! Gainax owns all characters except Haruna and   
Muriyaki. Also. My idiot brother used a few lines of the Barenaked   
Ladies song "When You Dream" for Asuka and Chibi-Shinji's scene.  
TDS: Thanks sis. I think that covers everything. Uh drop me a   
line if you like it, hate it, want more, wanna know more, etc...  
  
the_dude_slayer@yahoo.com  
  
  
http://the_dude_slayer.tripod.com/Home.html  
Ja ne 


End file.
